Luis

Maybe I should talk about my relationship to Luis at this point. At first he kept his distance. I think we were quite similar. He grew up without his family, spent his youth running around doing illegal things. He hung around with ”wrong” people. He grew up to be a runner, but later on, when he did some good jobs, he decided to quit. He had enough money and fame so he got himself a small shop selling guns. He was a fixer and a mercenary. He loved the action so he could never quit completely. He was hired to do the most difficult jobs. He wasn't cheap, but he was good. Runners wanted his support. He had his own team he helped out of the goodness of his heart, as he once told me. I was allowed on his teams jobs, but he didn't want me on his more professional jobs. He said I was too impulsive. I understood. I had other things to do as well. I studied.

After one, longer job, we went home exhausted. We showered and then he asked me to go to bed with him. He taught me about sex. It was enjoyable, and after that we spent many nights together. I read about sex and its power on men. I was a bit concerned about pregnancy, but after all I had read about shapeshifters, and what Luis told me he believed, I trusted not to become pregnant. I think my immune system is too strong. I don’t know if shapeshifters are able to have offspring at all, but I don’t even care. Sometimes I think about it. Can I get pregnant to a leopard? Can I get pregnant to a shapeshifter? Does the shapeshifter have to be leopard, or can it be for example a wolf? Or a tiger? If I get pregnant do I need to be in human-form or leopard-form? Can I even get pregnant in the human-form?

I don’t think my relationship with Luis as a romantic kind. It was a physical relationship. I don’t even know if I can feel the thing people call love. I would have been sad if I had lost Luis, but it wouldn't have devastated me. Death is a part of life. So is pain and suffering. I have noticed that people with sheltered lives don’t understand this. They don’t understand that life can be suffering, and every life ends at some point. They will be shocked when they find out.